Reaction vs no reaction?

To think of it, I've been in the no reaction or should I say less reaction group for almost 20 years! 

First of all, I want to say sorry and thanks to all the friends and my sis' that care and love me with sincere heart and be patient with me all these while! I know dealing, caring and loving someone like me is not easy! Specially thanks to the sorries, guity feelings and those low self esteem me~ 

Been wondering, I really should be more, well, reactive? I should show more, er, "high-ness" in myself? When people are talking or joking, I should be more, responsive?? 

However, that would not be me anymore! I am okay with these calm, quietness of mine, but I really want to be, "high" sometimes. It is hard though, really it is. Tried so many times but often I ended up embarrassing myself...

So, question is, how can I balance myself and will I be successful? Depends...