Thanks

Its 1234 in the morning of the last day of 2007. Yea, its 1234... So many things had happen in 2007; ups, downs, happy, sad, disappointed, satisfaction, anger, all sorts of emotions, feelings, you name it. However, I do, of course, learn a lot during this year. Dreams, to be achieved; Goals, to be met; Vision, to be seen; Mission, to be accomplished. All these, is one step closer after today, the last day of 2007!

Friends come and go through out this year. Which makes my life more miserable. Conflict arise and some i chose not to deal with it. Money and time management is the worst this year, I've been using them like a flow of waterfall, without any control. Gave stupid advices to my dearest friends. Gave stupid responses to my dearest friends. All these, brought me from heaven to hell. From Light to the Dark.

However, there were times that brought me back to the Light, Heaven. For those who made my day, I would want to thank you guys here. I can't seems to thank you guys in person for I am still as cowardly as I used to be. XD

Thanks God, for You guided me, led me to the path You want me to be.
Thanks my family members, for a place for me to be myself. To express myself.
Thanks PuiLing, for being my most faithful listener, comforter and being my sister.
Thanks Michelle, for being my sister who cares for me
Thanks Yingzhi, for being my sister who always give support and love with care when I needed it most.
Thanks YenYee, for trying to understand me; being my best friends; accompany me when i am lonely; and being my mirror to reflect my own wrongs
Thanks YeeWern, for being a true friend that always cover my back; give comforts, who let me felt that i am being protected.
Thanks Philip, who always give advices that suitable for the situation I'm in.
Thanks Jin, who always talk to me and comfort me when needed.
Thanks Manda, who always care and love me like my own mother and protects me.
Thanks KitMun, for being a friend that willing to share problems with me.
Thanks YaShin, for reminding me and helping me to be more matured even you didn't notice it.
Thanks Karmun, for making me a stronger boy.
Thanks Sarah, who sometimes inspired me for doing things.
Thanks Mika, for making me more than who I used to be.
Thanks Mian, for suddenly coming into my life and wake me up from a long sleep.
Thanks Ylong, for letting me know that friends are always there when I needed one.
Thanks SyiHuey, who boast my confident and esteem when i really needed it.
Thanks PuiSee, who treated me with honest heart.

Thanks my friends, for making me who I am today. I really do appreciate the times with you guys. Though I am quiet, emo at times, but truely, I am really happy with you guys in my life. Once in a year, I really wanted to thanks you guys here. ^^ Honto-ni doumo arigatou gozaimasu, mina-san!!!

E3 Camp

Went to camp on the 2nd of Nov. It is a camp organized by Peer Support Group(PSG) club. Basically it is a camp that train and guide us to be a better peer supporter, organizer and facilitator.

We played games, attend talks, workshop and know new friends! This camp also built the bond between us, whether we already knew each others or not.

Now, to the main point of my blog; What i have really learn?

Take away the organizing, facilitation and peer supporter skills, I have learn that I am really not alone! During this 3days 2nights camp, a lot of things flash through my mind. My own personality, my friends, my close friends, the ones that I care, and my church. You might ask, what does all these gotta do with my E3 Camp? I tell you what, I really have no ideas! These things just flash up in my mind when I observed them(those that attended the camp and other 3 of my closer friends).

Not going into detail, hehe, but I just want to say, Thanks guys for supporting and letting me know that this road, I have you guys! In some way, you had helped me to grow. Thanks, PL, J, KM and Alex~

(A bit weird~ haha I guess i am not used to expressing my feeling~ haha Thanks guys and girls~ =P)

Famine~

Famine~

Wee~ I survived 30 hours of famine~! Can you? Hehe well, I went to this event organized by world vision, it’s called 30 hours famine. So, what did we do there? Obviously, we fasted! Yes, fasted for 30 hours! No break and no solid food, we survived only by using water! Well, actually is not as tough as you think la. The activities there are fantastic!

Day 1

It started at 12pm. I reached there at 10 something with Yee and Mei~ Then we met up with Manda and Kim Kim there. After collecting our shirts and name tags, we went into the stadium and given a brief by our emcee. William is sooo GOOD! His is good in both English and mandarin! Besides that, his joke is funny too~ unlike lulu, well, even if lulu say the same joke, the effect will be different~ haha

The ice breaker was fun~ Never mind that, it is not the main point here, so I won’t be saying it much on it here hehe. After the boring yet meaningful + encouraging messages from those VIP, we finally started our famine!! Gosh I am already hungry by that time! =P. The 1^st activity was to let us understand how important CLEAN WATER is to those poor children… Do you believe that those children can’t even get clean water to drink? They have to survive by drinking dirty water that contains larvae. These larvas, after being drank into their body, will grow into 3 feet long, yes 3 FEET LONG WORM!!! It is called the Guinea Worm. I don’t have the photos with me, but imagine there is this 3 feet long worm in your body. Every day, it moves within your body, and then finally when it finally fully grown, it will find a way out of your SKIN!!! The worst part is you can’t pull it out in one short. You will have to pull it out bits by bits… Ewww…. We are so blessed here in Malaysia…. And yet, people are wasting food and water here without any regret…

By the way, it is about 2 or 3 pm by now, and I don’t think I feel hungry now; activities and the thinking section diverted my attention!

The next activity was to let us understand how they feel in their shelter(Home). Where they live… Do you believe that your room is actually their house??? Yes, it is. They live there like, forever? It’s so sad when you look into their house. They seem okay with it. Really, I really felt like wanted to help them when I saw those slides, but what I can do is so little… Haiz…

By the way, did I mentioned that there were more than 5000 people participated? Give them a loud applauds!!! They deserve that!!! WOOHOO~

Around 730pm, things started to get high! Really HIGH!!! This mood affected me as well!! Yes, I got HIGH! Haha, join them in shouting and waving the hands~ woo~ nice~~ Itz concert time!! Nicholas, Fish and Daniel are there too! Besides that, other artists also attended~ I just love it!! I took some video too~ everything is like a live concert and we totally forgot about the hunger! I slept at 12am, 18 hours more to go!!

Day 2

1^st activity we had is a religious thingy. We (Manda, Yee and I) went to the Christian worship section while kim kim and Mei went to catholic section. After that we have a yoga section~ nice~~ (Jas and gang said that I am not a boy because my flexible body~~ blee) After that, another inspiring talk by dr. koh if I am not mistaken… He shown us the slides in China, how poor are them and how helpless they are. Again, I’m really touched by the slides. T.T. Really wanted to help, I really hoped that I can do at least a bit for them, like what I did in the famine.

After the talk, we all got so tired! We slept at the seats in the stadium. Manda, Mei, Yee Kim and I. Guess what? Performance by Suang Fu energized us!! Sudden the energy came and we shouted, applauded with excitement and with a proud feeling! Then the other group which also are not as perfect as us in term of physical, performed. That girl really got us all HIGH again! This time, we really forgot about the hunger!!! Then the touching part comes, a blind man, came on stage and sang! His voice is so GOOD! We put up our handphones and torchlight to make the environment look more like a concert and wave~ It was soooo beautiful but, the great singer can’t see… Again, I felt that I am really BLESSED! I wish I can bless others with the blessing I got… Thank you Lord!

I will skip the other part cause it’s nothing, just another experience for me~ nice~ Then at 6pm, FINALLY OVER!!! We made it! We survive!!! Heh,

Human, what exactly are them? Thought, why do human think? Why don't humans mind act the same way as animals?

Why Why Why?

I think some of you that is reading this will have this thought. Normally when you think this way, it kinda means that you are having problems. Because you can feel and think, you are in trouble, you want to escape from the problem you are facing now, you want to escape from the suffering feeling you are feeling now. Right?
In this post, i will focus on why do human thinks, feel, and even give their own opinion to some situation. And how human give their own opinion.

Why do human have thought and feeling? Why human EVEN exists? Tough question. No one really can answer it. Based on my understanding of life, I do believe in Supreme Power, God. But there are so many so-called God in this world, did all of them work together and build this world? My answer is a No. Only ONE God created this world. Only Him created human. Only Him give us something that distinguish us from other living organism in this world. According to the Bible, we are made based on Him. We are not God, but we certainty are an image of Him!Then no wonder we can thinks and feel! Because He can thinks and feel too! Animals can't really think and feel. Plant certainly can't too.

Then maybe you want explanation,how sure am i that God exists. We can't see Him, we can't feel Him, what more about touching Him! But then, we can't prove that He does not exists as well right? So, no point debating bout this, whether you believe or not, up to you. God is something supreme to us, is like the other kind. Special one. And God can think and feel too right? You ask : so?. Try to link it together, God want us to have faith in Him not because we see Him, He want us to have faith even we can't see Him! If it were like this, if we already have faith in Him when other have doubt, when God really appear in front of us we will of course even excited and will put even more faith in Him right? We are human, we are weak, we tend to get bored with things we own or able to touch and see. God knows it, that is why He chose this way to let us choose whether we want to have faith in Him or not! But He did send Jesus His Son down to earth and live with us rite? He give us a BIBLE(Basic Instruction Book of Living on Earth)! Cool eh?

So, now you know why human thinks, because we are special and we are an image of God! That is the only answer i can give you. Continue thinking about it will only leads you to no where! So, now, why human always give comment, critiques and opinion about almost everything other people do? Because human are like that! You can't change how we are!

Human are self-centered, and i mean we ARE! No matter how holy you are, how people think of you as self-less, we are still self-centered! Just how self-centered you really are, that's all. When i mean self-centered, it means that no matter what happen, we will certainly view it from our point of view first. Because we are an observer! When we observe, we tend to make up story, relate other factor why someone act like this and that and mostly is because what we see! So, this clear up why human often give opinion, critiques and comment about other people. And if you notice it, when we make comment bout other people, we tend to get a bit happier~ We think we are better than others! So, keep this in mind, no one is better than other people in this world.

Then how do human think?

Normally, when something happen, we automatically will give an internal attribution to that person, means we will think that because of that person's attitude why he is acting like this. Here is an example:

When teacher ask a question, someone sitting in front of you suddenly stand up and give a completely WRONG answer! So, you automatically will say, "This guy is stupid!" (Kenneth Phun 2007)

See? This is what almost all people will think. Then you are tired, lazy, not motivated to think more about his behavior.Therefore you stop, and takes "He is a stupid idiot" assumption as your final assumption. A lot people think this way, but for some people that willing to think more, he will try and think about other factor, "maybe he didn't understand the question?""maybe in this situation is wrong but it can be correct if in other situation?" and then if you really think like this, you will probably feel better about that person.

Friends... What exactly is it? They come and go, leaving those uncleanable footstep in your heart. They sometimes hurt you, sometime stab you, but at times, they help you, support you and be your little light to move forward. What ARE them? Why friends can be so powerful? Have you ever thought about it?

Well, it just came to my mind, and i kinda have thought about it. I'm wondering, just wondering, if i have these friends and appreciate them and treasure them, will they do the same to me? Is it worth it? Hold these thought for a while ya? Will come back to it later, if i don't tell me~ haha

So, human needs someone else to survive, believe it or not. A research has been done by some psychologist if i am not mistaken, they try to isolate infant from human, only give food to them, toys, and everything an infant need, except human being... They make no contact with other human except themselves!! How horrible huh? They got what they want, but no human to play with, no human to be share with, no human to angry with and no human to help them or listen to them when they sad, all alone with lotz of toys! Sad eh? guess what? Those poor thing died! Yes, they died! Can't make it to adult... (er, plz do correct me if i am wrong ok? this is taken from a source which i forgot from where edi, sorry if it is illegal to post something like this ><)

Well, what i want to bring out is that, friends are really important to us, of course, our family members are important to us too, but without friends, we can barely survive...

Agree? How many of you really tell ALL your problem to your parents? How many of you can really enjoy your vacation with only your parents? Ya ya, i know, some did enjoy and will share the problem with parents, but think of it, talking to a friend that seems to be understand more is different from sharing it with parents rite? Parents will die on us someday, sorry to say this but ya, it is true, everyone will DIE one day... So, who is it left for us? Friends!

So, now you know how important friends to us? We cannot get everything done by ourselves rite? In reality, there is no one man war/battle! Unless you are God, there is no way you can handle everything by your own!

So, back to the question, is friends worth to be treasured? Is it worth to appreciate them? Yes. You might ask, "even if they betray you?" My answer will be yes! We all know friends are those who help when others in need, friends will die for us if it is necessary, if we knew these, then we should be the one start doing these with our heart! How our friends treat us is nothing, because they maybe don't know why friends exist! But we KNOW! Therefore we should appreciate everyone of them regardless what they did to us as they are place in our life with a purpose...

Friends are not a tool to use, but friends is like a treasure, they are too great to be valued and we must protect them with our heart!

TREASURE YOUR CLOSE FRIENDS AS THEY ARE MORE VALUABLE THAN NORMAL FRIENDS!!!

About to lose a friend...

What is friend? I start wondering about this question yesterday... Why is it when we know our friends are going faraway we will feel upset. Sad. Disappointed?

This time is kinda different. This friend of mine, i know her 2 years ago. We only get close few months ago. Doing things i don't usually do, and chit chating until late at night, go shopping together and share our live story with each other.

When i know her dad want her to go over to India and study, i was full with anger and somehow i felt upset... She still studying in secondary school. For some reason(i don't want to talk about it...), her dad want her to go over there and study... Of course she don't want!! Who will want it... Imagine, India.... How can KL people be comfortable with the life in INDIA!! HELL NO!!!

Ok... Ok.. Calm down... Well, it is not like the first time I encounter this kind of problem... Previous years ago, I lost few friends as well. Some go other state to study, some changed school and most of them didn't really keep in touch after that. But i can just accept the fact like that without any problem. But why this time? This time i was thinking a lot of ways to help her not to go over to India.... This time, I really don't want her to step out of my world. This time, for the 1st time, i am acting very selfish...

So, what are friends?

Lonely

Lonely~ I'm so lonely~ i have no body, fooor my own~!!!

Familiar with this? Ya, It's from a song~ Everyone love it~ But why? Aren't we hate loneliness? Aren't we want to be accepted? Yes, this is what we want, and because of this, we like this song. Why? We felt that at least this song understand me. While no one understand me, these lonely songs understand me... Slowly, we are drown in these songs and start to make our own world!!

Sad eh?

Before i really start, i want to make my thought clear. About lonely and alone. It is how you see it, but for me, alone is like when you are with no other ppl, can be seen by physical. But if a person is alone, doesn't mean that he/she is lonely. But on the other hand, a person can feel lonely even with a bunch of friend! Lonely can't really be seen by others. Not if you are his/her best friend.

So, what makes human lonely? Erm, i would say, it is IN us all the time!!! For some reason, human like to be praise, to be belong in one group and be accepted. And strangely, our heart need someone, something to fill this loneliness. Our heart is like an empty cup that have a hole at the bottom! It must be filled all the time. From time to time! That is why we continually find something to fill it. Sometimes we found a wrong source that made the cup's hole even bigger! And when your cup is empty, you start feeling lonely, you start to look for something someone else to fill the cup. Like a hungry zombie searching for human to devour... Scary eh?

Why is it so? Because human and any other object on earth have temporary water supply for your cup that have a hole in it! That is why... Why so many people in this world are lonely, they can't seems to find the right "water supply"!

So, dear reader, all the best on finding the right water supply for your empty cup ya? Hah~~
*Hint**This water supply gotta do with why you live on earth. What is your objective and who you are living for*

Love

Love, who am i to post this anyway? Well, just want to share my thought about it.

To me, i kind of categorize this love into a few categories:-
1. God's love
2. Love among Brothers and Sisters
3. Family love
4. Special one's love
5. Friends love
-Close
-Normal
6. Love towards other human

In this post, i might be sharing my thought about special friend's love. What is this? Well, if you are thinking of Bf Gf relationship's love, then you are right! Gratz.

So, what is this love, what attracts two opposite sex to be together again after a period of Gender War between each others? (To those who studied Psychology, you might know what i am referring to. Haha). As we are growing up, we tend to grow mentally too. We might want to belong to a particular person, or being loved by someone. But the problem is, when we aren't mentally matured, we don't really understand what is matured love. All we know is, puppy love. Love in secondary school is always, known as puppy love. Why is it so? Isn't being together with someone is called love? Aren't love suppose to be happy and joyful? For those who are in love that are enjoying it, get together because the "feel" is there without much consideration of the future, you guys might want to think about it.

In a relationship, there is more than love and enjoy. Personally experience it. After sweet for few months, according to my friends, a lot of them broke up because only by then they noticed that both of their personality are not suitable. Why is it so? Lack of patience maybe? Lack of understanding before they start a relationship? Lack of communication skill? Or even lack of matured love?!

You see, in my opinion, love someone, need a lot of patience, commitment and honestly. Not to forget forgiveness, understanding, self-less thinking and sincerity. Without this, two humans will still can be together as a couple but their relationship might not stay long, and even if it does, the happiness is only can be seen on the surface, deep inside their heart, there is no real peace. Amen? Amen to me!

And all this, is not easily understand or easily be done by many humans. We are weak, no? And back to puppy love, they just want to feel good without considering these things! "As long as we are happy, and that is enough", I am sure for those people who are reading this, some of them kinda have this kind of thinking. But sorry that i have to say, this won't work! Loving someone needs A Lot Of effort and thinking! Like what i have mentioned above, if true matured love doesn't exist in a relationship, it won't last long, and the sweet period will be over really quick. After that, are sour, bitter and spicy... A couple that is in love without matured love might seems happy and sweet on the surface, but we doesn't know what kind of mentally pain or emotional struggling they are facing. Itz like the mighty sea, it might seems peaceful on the surface, but deep down the sea, the wave is very strong and wild!!!

In conclusion, (Gosh, am i writing an essay or a speech?!?!), before we say "yes" "letz start dating", do consider about those commitment that we must have in a relationship. A relationship is meant for marriage, is meant for long term and its a beautiful thing, don't make it ugly.

A quotation from Bible : "4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Don't know what i want...

Frustration... Anger... Useless... Upset... All these, are me now. I know it is wrong to do so, but i can't deny that i felt these. Why is it so? I don't know, do i? Its all started when she called. Every time we chat, there are sure a lot of silence between the conversation. I am the one who is cracking my damned useless brain to think of something to chat. To find event to talk about. Is this normal?

I am an introverted person, maybe not as introverted as her, but, can both introverted be together? It is okay for me not to chat and just hang out with her, but when I did so, she complain that we don't chat much. Chatting is important in understanding each other i know, but i did tried my best!! Tried for 1 month plus, and now, i am tired... if i, the one that is trying to find topic, try to maintain the conversation and all she do is just answer what i say, giving me short answer, how can me, a mere human, weak human to overcome it...

Christian or not? A lot people might say this doesn't matter, but, i think it is! If she is a christian, i can really chat with her almost everything! Exchange our faith! Share our thought and stuff... Am i not on the way that You pleased? ... really clueless now.... need advice... ... ...

Choices... YOU ARE THE BOSS NOT PROBLEM

Choices... Got this inspiration from our friendly neighbourhood- Spiderman~ Well, in the movie, Peter mentioned that everyone have choices to make. You can choose A or B or sometimes C.

Let me give u a scenarios, a very basic one: When people steal, rob the bank or kill someone, some people will use these defenses, "I have no choice but to do so!!" "It's not what I want! I have no choice!!". But to think again, aren't we given much choices? Before we actually did something, if we really tried our best and be patient, i am sure there is a way. Lets say accidentally killed someone that we do not intended to kill. What are the choices?
A: COntrol our emotion. Don't let anger control us.
B: Let our anger rule us!! Who cares about consequences? I just want revenge!!
C: Tell them that i am not satisfy of what they have done and try to look for solution...
D: Gah! What ever la~

See, we have choices to choose from!!

What we need is just:
A: effort, A LOT OF effort
B: Patience, which a lot people lack of. And it's hard to maintain it.
C: Think out of the box. Critical thinking. In almost every situation, it is about THINKING right and not FEELING right! Feeling is faulty. Sometimes our downfall is because of this sweet thing called the FEELING.
D: And of course, a lot of experience. You might not be able to do this the 1st time you encounter the situation. You might need to encounter it for few times, some 1, 2, 30, 40 some even takes years to achieve it! Depends on our will.

Okay, this choices thing, actually i mainly want to focus on staying happy. I am sure everyone will face difficulties in their life, at least i did. Sad because no GF, feeling lonely cause not open up enough, angry because get jealous of ones ability, jealous because you didn't do as well as others. Hey, all this is tiring no? But as i mentioned above, we have choice NOT TO suffer!! Just don't let your feeling control you. When you think you are lonely, don't-lah go and listen to music that suit your feeling and make you more lonely!! Go and do something useful, like helping our your mom, reading, mayb "dota-ing" also might help~

Hmm, will post more bout lonely, sad, anger, jealous in my upcoming post ya? so, stay tune~~

LOL

LOL it seems like i abandon this blog~ Or to say i am kinda lazy to post anything?!
Well, nothing much this time, just to tell you guys to be patient and wait for my next post~ Haha. Bout the story thingy~ wait till i really free first only continue bah~ haha Crapping....