COnfused again?

When I have decided to change a certain aspect in my life, reality or fantasy is there, stopped my motivation. I know this aren't going to be easy, but to be this difficult? Oh Lord, what do you want from me?

No ones like negative feeling eh? However, knowing all these but not taking any step to at least balance out all these, isn't it weird? We always complaint we aren't good enough, we are lazy, we are not outspoken, but always ended up doing nothing bout it.

The question I start asking myself is, knowing our limit, yes, but what if I want to be better? Can I? I want to be accepted but not by conforming, can I?