HELP

Recently I've been reading a manga named "XXXHolic" and started to like it very much. There is a major lesson I learn in this manga (comic)

"By sacrificing yourself for those who care for you, will your sacrifice brighten their life? Will they be happy because you are sacrificed? Of course, by sacrificing yourself and look at those who care for you out of trouble you will be relief and happy but will it be the same for the person you just helped? No. If he/she care for you, by looking at you suffering, you've actually hurt them and I guess this aint the ending we want. "

The example given in the manga is when a spirit tried to save Watanuki's eye. However, in order to save his eye, that spirit almost get herself killed. Lets say, if that spirit lost her life but she exchanged Watanuki's eye, will Watanuki be guilty for the rest of his life? I bet he will.... Hope this will make my unclear explanation clearer~

One way to look at it is when our friend financial problem, and to help him/her, we starve and save all our allowance for him/her. By doing this, we gave all the money we saved to him/her and if he/her accept, his/her problem would be solved but in their heart, they are grateful and thankful of course but to see you being starve because of him/her, I don't think he/she will be very happy right?

Guess this is what I normally did, like to help others without considering what that help could turn out to be. Sometimes, helping others is a good intention but this intention could sometimes really hurt the others esteem. So, before we offer help, we should put our feeling aside for awhile and think about whether the help is really needed so that we won't put others esteem down.
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To those that helped me, I thank you here! *bow* I really do appreciate you guys! I never been so close to any human "mentally" before in my life~