Barrier?

Is it just me? Or whether I am building barrier between me with them or they are building barrier between them and me... I wonder....

Under construction is not fun at all! Haha, I need some supervisor~~

Change

Change is essential in life. However, most of us do not like the word change. Change in environment, change of friends, change of jobs or change of church, all these are something we will face sooner or later in our life.

Life is like the process of pampers, when it is stink, when it is uncomfortable, when it is old, we have to change a new one. When we are bored with something, it is time to change a different perspective to deal with it. When we notice there is something wrong, we should always consider the option of changing out perspective/behaviour/ attitude in order to bring out a better us.
For I am still changing and under construction, please bear with this unfinished me! So please do not give up on me yet! ^^ Thanks for understanding~ hehe

Something I learn from my church fellowship last night

Confident

A quick one.

Watched "Coach Carter" at church just now during youth fellowship, I would say it was a great movie! Something similar to "remembering the Titans" movie we saw in our psychology PSY104 class.

Actually, the main value that given me impact is the difference between confident and over confident.

A lot of us nowadays struggle between these two. "I do not want to be confident because I scared I will be too/overconfident!"

This is what I learn from "Coach Carter"
Confident

• Know our limit but will always do our best
• Know that we can do it and will always do our best
• Will always be careful on what we are doing and do our best
• Strong self monitoring skill and do our best
  
• Do our best
• Even though we fail, we know we do our best and will not be SHAME on the result

This is what I call confident

Overconfident

• Do not know our limit
• Know we can do it
• Overestimate our ability and ignored the basic precaution steps we should be taking
• Did not do our best.
  
• Forgot ourselves
• When we failed, we take it as a discrimination

This is what I call overconfident!

Have a nice day!

Opps I did it again~

"OMMo~" (Star King, 2008 cited in Youtube.com)

Yeap! I did it again! Consciously I know I am going into an emo state but it is still tough for me to control it. Thanks to the skin cutter video from our classmate without giving us any warning, my emo emo state went up double the speed it usually did!! Cheh! Haha~

Why should I care about their presenting style? I have mine. Why should I care? Hmm, nice question... LOL

Guess what, the limit of my blood viewing scene is improved! My emotional control panel system is also improved through today failure too!! hehe.

Have a nice day guys!! "saranghae~~~"

Low self esteem

“除了自卑以外，我还会什么呢？”
"Beside feeling low self esteem, what else I can do?"

Its my thought now and it was a thought that bugging me for quite some time. I believe a lot of people would have exactly the similar feeling as I do. Low self esteem.

Being in an environment that have people around you that will work closely with you can actually help you to fight this thought but negative thought is always very powerful!

Human are self centered. I would say all human are self centered! Why do I say so, my definition of self centered-ness is that whatever human do, we will always think from our own perspective, we will always seek for something that make us happy, make us worthy! Self defenses are also a kind of self centered behavior, no? Self centered doesn't mean that you are selfish!

What does self centered gonna do with low self esteem? I would say it is positive correlated though I didn't run a research on it! Why, because we always look at the world from our own little and limited perspective, we often see ourselves as worthless because we will eventually overlook our own strength, overlook ourselves that please our friends, compared ourselves with those friends that excel! Yes, we will of cause proud and happy for them but I am sure, sometimes we want to be like them too, too feel good, aren't this self centered-ness?

Although some of us can really look out of our own perspective, there are still elements of self centered in us no matter what. As we can never really understand why some people prefer doing things this way that another way.

I am not making assumption that low self esteem is solely contributed by self centered-ness, but I am saying that it did play a role in making us low self esteem.

Yes, this is solely my OWN perception on this topic, it doesn't mean

FWIGHTING!!

DANG!

DARN! What is more stupid, dumber, useless, helpless than you know you are being cheated and still let people play with you emotion! CHICKEN EGG KIUH~ Ish... I know I have no right to complain but, my pride as a psychology student gone. My role as a Christian gone. Am I not wise? Sometime I hope I aint a emotional driven person ==" ISH!!!!

Mina~ hey, thanks for not blaming me for my stupid action and instead "touch" me~ emotionally~ LOL! Haih, what an expensive experience. My money for birthday gift have to start from 0... great...

PRRRR~~~

STOP STOP STOP *whistle blowing*

Now, I do not know what happen to me these few days but I personally do agree with them, I, somehow changed... I guess to a negative side, gosh! This aren't the way I wanted it to happen, this aren't the way it should be!

I want to be expressive but not doing some stupid stuff. I want to be more open but not THIS open... Gosh, can someone help me? Nah, Everyone is going through their storms now.

Using this opportunity, everyone, lets do our best in overcoming this storm ya! Wave will come one after another, perhaps larger and stronger but one thing for sure, after this storm, there will surely be a sunny day! Friendship is like a well-built ship that you can seek for when the storm is too strong, a place where we can seek for when we are cold and we need light.

ALL THE BEST!

Touch

Ever wonder how touch can actually affect someone life? Touch is a very important sense of human being. Every kid need to be touched by their mother and this can actually give the kid sense of love, belonging and felt cared. Kids without exposure of touch senses will eventually be less secured.

I read this from Choice and Changes psychology book. However, this doesn't end with kid; it goes on. Even when we grown up, we still need touches, a pat from someone close, hug, all these give us sense of belonging and we will actually felt acknowledged.

I personally experienced it within these two years. Hit from friends, pat from friends, a "semi-hug" from friends, "poke" from friends and even massage from friends will actually made me happy, appreciated, belonged. Especially if it were someone as close as your brother/sister. It really does.

However, there will always be a limit of "touching" for friends, if its not, it will be a perverted to simply touch others or it might even violate others privacy space~

So, have you pat/hug anyone today?

WUU~

Gorgan~! You've taken quite a long holiday eh?? I guess it is time for you to go back to your work ba! Expecting a better result!

Life is strange eh, when you are down, you will complaint it to your friends or keep it by yourself, but suddenly things happen and made you high and joyful. However, when you feel like you are the most happy people living, suddenly something bad happen to you. It is like a non stop circle!

Hey guys, Gorgan have a new request want to ask from you guys. If Gorgan ever annoyed anyone, please do talk to him up front ya? It can really save a lot of unnecessary misunderstanding!

To-Do list
+ try to break out of this useless language barrier!
+ try not to push your head into others business too much yea?
+ be more open!

Specially dedicated to... Char Siew Gor!

Listen..

Driving on bumpy road under the shed of pure moonlight,
Dark and creepy middle of the night,
Passing by eerie graveyard
A sudden chill shivering down
Horror images starts playing in mind of a faint hearted soul
Grabbing steering tight
Hands starts sweating
Heart is shrieking,
Tapping harder on accelerator
Adrenaline pumping fast through veins
but IT's NOT FUNCTIONING!
Engine Died!
C-r-o-w, land on the bonnet,
It is indicating an inauspicious event
Pungent smell occupying the car
THUMP!!
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" soul screamed
Crimson red fluid dripping down from car
Chopped head rolling out beside the supposedly-durable tyre
Its eyes starring straight at U
RUN PAL~ RUN!!
Stunned! Too weak to make an escape
Limbs throwing out from nowhere
At the corner of an eye
"Someone" grinding its bones
"Someone" mincing its brain
"Someone" slicing its tongue
The pain is unbearable
As if Soul is going through the pain
RUN PAL~ RUN!!
Weak body just couldn't run
U feel as if your bones are being crush on
Eyes shutting down
To describe the pain? It is beyond words
Black Out!

U couldn't feel yourself right now
What have u experienced?
Gosh.. Bloody scene!
"Someone" was YOU!
You were in denial
*
**
***
**
*
You DIED few minutes ago
Yes YOU!! YOU!!
You took liquor and Sped off
Consequences?
Your car collided into the ravine
You saw your own head
Your eyes starring back at YOU
You're just a soul now
Grinding, mincing, slicing were the act of anger in you
Bear with the consequences
May U Rest In Peace Mate!

*Never drink and drive under any circumstances. It will only put your life at risk!
Moment of Pleasure, Regret Forever.

[This is an advice from the ministry of home affairs and health]

(a packet of blood a day, keeps doctor away)

(Siew Yuk piece of "ART")

Great~

Losing a friend is still, losing someone you care will hurt you but its not that bad, BUT losing a friend that you care a lot and close to you something that no ones want it to happen.

Wish that will be granted have to pay the same amount of price eh? Saying from xxxholic which I found it quite true... I've been praying that I can understand that I have my life and others have theirs and what they did to theirs aren't really a problem to me even though he/she is someone close to me and tada~!! The price I've paid for? Losing a close close friends that I know for 3 years.

Is there no barrier between male and female when it comes to true close friends? I was doubting that last time, and I finally believe that there aren't, but what happen last night? hmm... Maybe there is barrier for those younger ones...

Sometime when you see people think childish-er than you, its really hard to hold back. She wants to end it, go ahead, I might feel disappointed and "sour-ish" now but it just a damn feeling. I still have life to go on, I still have other friends that care for me... So... All the best ya...

HELP (2)

I suddenly thought that I should post this on Ling's car.

In the previous post, I mentioned something about before helping others, we should think whether or not our action bring negative effect on the person we care. In this post, I will be posting on what if others wanted to help us.

Like I mentioned in previous post, if someone care and love you, he/she will want to help you no matter what cost he/she have to pay. However, a lot of time we felt guilty or rather "paiseh" when we receive others' aid and so we often turn them down. By doing so, I am sure it is also will bring a negative effect on the person who are offering help. He/she might thought that we don't want him/her to help and so, it made him/her feel bad.

So, when we need to help/ be helped? I would say depend on the situation. If accepting the help doesn't affect us greatly, then we might as well wanna accept that help. If that help will eventually hurt us, bring our esteem down, we should tell the helper what we think or feel. This might help to clear up some unnecessary misunderstanding.

HELP

Recently I've been reading a manga named "XXXHolic" and started to like it very much. There is a major lesson I learn in this manga (comic)

"By sacrificing yourself for those who care for you, will your sacrifice brighten their life? Will they be happy because you are sacrificed? Of course, by sacrificing yourself and look at those who care for you out of trouble you will be relief and happy but will it be the same for the person you just helped? No. If he/she care for you, by looking at you suffering, you've actually hurt them and I guess this aint the ending we want. "

The example given in the manga is when a spirit tried to save Watanuki's eye. However, in order to save his eye, that spirit almost get herself killed. Lets say, if that spirit lost her life but she exchanged Watanuki's eye, will Watanuki be guilty for the rest of his life? I bet he will.... Hope this will make my unclear explanation clearer~

One way to look at it is when our friend financial problem, and to help him/her, we starve and save all our allowance for him/her. By doing this, we gave all the money we saved to him/her and if he/her accept, his/her problem would be solved but in their heart, they are grateful and thankful of course but to see you being starve because of him/her, I don't think he/she will be very happy right?

Guess this is what I normally did, like to help others without considering what that help could turn out to be. Sometimes, helping others is a good intention but this intention could sometimes really hurt the others esteem. So, before we offer help, we should put our feeling aside for awhile and think about whether the help is really needed so that we won't put others esteem down.
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To those that helped me, I thank you here! *bow* I really do appreciate you guys! I never been so close to any human "mentally" before in my life~