Assertiveness

"So, Gorgan, tell me everything about assertiveness, how it is different from acting aggressively?"

Ask me the question above and I can really give you an accurate right answer about what being assertive is.

Ask me to practice assertive behavior? *sigh* no luck. It is not that I do not know what goods can it bring, just that I am too focus on what bads can bring! I've really seen enough, losing 1 or 2 of people who are very close to me is enough for me to generalized all "assertive" behavior are to be avoided at all cost...

I jolly well know that its more than that. I understand what is wrong behind these thinking. I.. am just afraid...

What can I do...? Nothing...? Learn helplessness...? Perhaps... Walk away...? I'll try... Well, yea, unless I am ready to move out of my comfort zone, my safe zone, I will keep on complain and rant about these issues... So, when am I ready? God knows...

excuse

The reason why I can't buy a new phone right now: I do not appreciate what I have... Until I started to appreciate, I cannot buy a new phone! Unless I want a Nokia 3100 la~ XD

cross!

Guess who's this cute little girl?? Might be red riding hood~ Who knows~ =P

I guess it isn't a disaster that I think it is~ It actually turned out pretty good and I did enjoy myself there!

Thanks to Joreen and the other peeps who put all their effort in organizing this crazy, wacky and "fun" party for both May and I~ I bet this will be one of the last thing that I will forget easily in my life.

Had a great time after the whole party too~

Fun aside, I think I've really came to my limit, I seriously need social retreat! Been on "high mode" since last night till evening today. I actually having quite a mixed feeling, relief that I finally have time being alone, and at the same time, I missed all those peeps who make a very big changes in my life!

Anyhoo, thanks everyone, thanks those closer ones and *HUGS* I love you! *wink* (try and imagine the last night me doing these~~ *wink wink*) XD XD XD

Good night!

ID

HOI ID! go back into your room!!! You are messing with Ego for quite sometime already, now that is enough! Go back in!!! No more!! Not until you are capable of putting food on the table by yourself!!!

5 years ago

Every time when I am looking at your photos, I always wonder, what happen if that incident 5 years ago didn't happen...

What if we are still as close as 5 years ago?

What if we are still sharing stories on our lives like 5 years ago?

I missed talking to you... XWei..

Oh well... such as life...

re-consider

After reading threads in lowyat forum, I am re-considering my urge to buy an iphone!!

Yay to my wallet~~ XD

money

Oh dear...

This was the first time in my life, wishing so hard that I have extra money to spend on things I want and unnecessary items....

Boon Han... learn to be satisfied!!

loooong way

BH: hey, gorgan! look at me! LOOK!

Gorgan: What...?!?

BH: loooooooooooong waaaaaaaaaaay~~~

Gorgan: =__="" oh shut up!!

Long way

Its a looong way to go Gorgan, long waay~

Birthday - food

A couple of ex-foundation classmate friends came over and sorta celebrated my birthday~

Been eating since morning till night! Beat that! hahaha!

Anyway, it is good to chat and laugh with you guys again~ *hugs* thanks!

with love.

Birthday - kimchiHaru

A chit chatting moment with 2 ex-schoolmates are rather wonderful~

Sharing life story, sharing rant, its great!

Too bad I need to be more open in chatting like these~ I love it, but I have problem opening up.

Thanks for this wonderful moment in my life, should do it more often!

Birthday - car

The most dunno-what-to-responds-birthday-ever moment!!!

LMAO!

Many thanks for this moment in my life~ XD Love it~ though my brain was seriously blank that moment~~ =P

work

I need to work! It isn't a want anymore, it became a need!

human

As much as I love human, I am afraid of "us"...

How sad it is...

feelings/impluses

Weeks ago, someone told me that I often reacted, responded and made decisions mainly based on my feelings and also my impulses.

I do agree on that statement, but I didn't know it could be this harmful. I've made a seriously harmful decision without using my brain, which its main function is to make rational decision (guess my frontal cortex still haven't fully developed huh~) !

I've created harm, I'm sorry, nothing I do can erase that hurt away just prays that time will heal it, somehow, and I am fully responsible for it... It is a consequences I will have to face anyway. My bad...
Sry... I really know it's hurtful, I really do...
But I promise, from this mistakes, I will have better control over my feelings and impulses!

blocked

You block my way? Closed my door?

Fine...

I'll find another one~ no harm~ no sweat~ There will not be one only way to my destination anyway~ (religion aside~)