Incapable

Sudden feeling of incapable ....

Commitment

It's been awhile since my last time here blogging! Somehow, I kind of miss how I used to turn into thinking mode and blog out a very long post on some issues.

Oh well, here I am again after don't know how many years! =P

So, what about commitment that I want to talk about?

It's been a lot of ups and downs in the year of 2011; too much that it actually challenged some of my core belief on certain issues in my life. Honestly, if you think having 1 major changes in a year is hard to cope with, try having 2 major changes in a year at the same period of time! It literally will rock your boat of comfort!

But I thank God for making all these happen to me this year, it somehow bring me a step up the maturity stairs. So, commitments, what about it? Those who knows me will actually knows that I go to church and have commitment of a Sunday School teacher as well as a Christian. I believe I mentioned this sometime ago that Church, is my permanent job that is why my earning job can never be in the weekends as I need to go to church. This, for a longest time, I regard this as my commitment to the church, that whatever happen, unless life or death issue, I will never make decision to skip them.

However, things changed this year, I have 2 more commitment that somehow, affected my commitment in church.

During the struggle, I really wanted to let go of my church commitment as it requires a lot of it that at first when I say YES, I didn't expect the commitment to be so... heavy. But I came to realize, commitment is a decision to make, regardless of how you feel.

Commitment doesn't just stop at saying "yes, I want to commit", that is just the very beginning of your commitment to something. Commitment is something that you need to hold on too, even it means to sacrifice your time in other activities that you want or enjoy doing; commitment is when you do not feel like doing it, you make the decision to continue doing it no matter how you feel; This is because, you said YES, to commit in certain things.

In relationship or even family, commitment plays a very big roles in maintaining it. I mean romantic relationship here. You know, sometimes I cannot get why people can just simply say if in marriage and found out that they don't love each other any more, they can just divorce? Where is the commitment that both party agreed when they sign the marriage certificate, saying that they commit to each others?

I think commitment in family can really show it very well. That no matter you like it or not, you are stick to the family, you are committed to it. So it is your responsibility to have a "happy" family instead of constantly whining and ranting about it.

Commitment, means you will do, or I will do to safe the relationship, to hold on to it even if it is difficult. Of course.... If you have spouse that abuse you, get the heck out of it! But what I mean here is, if we committed to something, we shouldn't just follow what our feeling wants, because really, feelings can be misleading.

We do not commit by following feeling, but by conscious decision, and if feeling is gone, this conscious decision will lead us back, to find back the feeling that is gone. This, is what I call commitment.

Hence, what happen to my church commitment issue? I have decided to commit my time in preparing for children sunday school and my Sunday morning, with a balance with my other commitment in my life.

GOOD job

Good job gorgan! really good job for making yourself a failure! Making mistakes that you shouldn't make!

...

friend

Jeeeez... why do you come back now...>< jeeeez... troublesome friend....

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

Dino- homo sapiens

Will this be a life long battle...?

I really wonder how some people can be so, confident. Don't they see that everyone have their no so strong part? Don't they ever consider that failing, although only 0.1% is still possible...?

I really wonder how some people can be so, unforgiving. They just complain about others without even thinking from their shoe. They can shout and scream at people/blame others without putting effort to want to understand other. As if everyone else can't make mistakes.

I really wonder how some people can be so, smart. It is as if other people choose to be stupid.

*sigh*

By posting this, it seems like I am no better than these some people I mentioned above...

human... you suppose to be intelligent creature, why are you so, terrible...? Dino-homo sapiens. *laugh*

心理很不平衡。。。

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

that's why

It's because of your esteem is so tiny, everything you perceive became some weapons and all you want to do is to make sure it don't get any smaller or breaks into nothing...

By doing so it made more harm that you could ever imagine...

All the best being small ya~

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

I need direction...

Seriously, what should I do now? Another one is leaving so soon?! Geeez... now I'm not worrying bout the environment any more, its more like what will happen to me if I stay...=3=

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

理智上明白，但感觉不要明白。

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

第一

第一是可以被取代，但唯一是不能。你可是我的唯一。

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

My dream

I have a dream;

I want to be a full time christian;
I want to be a counselor;
I want to be a play therapist;
I want to be a facial expression/emotions researcher;
I want to open my dream pre-k/enrichment center;
I want to be a part time photographer.

Can all these be possible...?

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

主你是我力量

Was seriously almost break down just now during "Sunday" School serving at church just now due to extreme exhaustion from teaching children in where I am working. It is to the extent I want to shout and tell everyone in the church that I can't take it anymore and I just want to... cry.

That serious...

In serious consideration of whether I should continue my job or not.

During bathing just now, this song miraculously played in my mind... 主你是我力量, Lord, You are my strength! It seriously encouraged me a lot! Lord, it was You who guided me through today, it was You who leaded me today and it is You whom I wanted to serve for the rest of my life.

"我的诗歌我的拯救

你是我患难中随时的帮助

众山怎样围绕耶路撒冷

你必围绕我到永远

主你是我力量

主你是我高台

坚固磐石我信靠你

必不动摇

主你是我力量

主你是我高台

我的盼望只在乎你"

realized.

I've just realized and accept that, I'm a working adult now...

But, I still don't think I'm matured enough and have what it takes to take on the challeges from the working world...

Guide me oh lord...

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

weak.

commitment

There is so much more to learn, to unlearn and to learn...

I chose it, and will stay committed to my decision!