SCT

While I am struggling with my internal issue, I have to starts my assignments. While I am trying to reason my thought and behavior, I am trying to reason the Theory for Dr Goh. Talking about dissonance.... LOL Ironic of all, I am doing social comparison theory and I am social comparing !!! hahaha ==""

Choices II

I remember I did post something on this topic before, choice. Everyone will have choices to choose from, thats what I believe. 

Every time when we say don't know to something, we are choosing not to know, not to care and no matter what choices we choose, there will be consequences/ending. When it comes, we have to be prepare for it then. 

People might argue, but the situation doesn't allow me to make choices. Yea, it might be true, being born in a poor family is not our choice, but we can always work harder to earn money or what so ever to make our life more meaningful, no? 

Lets us all will have enough wisdom to choose how are we going to face our problems. 

Catharsis

Had a short talk just now with a close friend, she sparkled some of the problem/issue in me and started to make me thinking. "When you are to be given a half year holiday, what will you do?" Hmm, of course I want to be alone and go to some place where I am alone with nature. To "recharge back" all the energy I've used up since Foundation. 

Being alone is not really lonely, at least to me, I can really start to connect back with the inner me and not worry about how my behavior, verbal, and thought will affect others, especially those whom I care. Then she asked, "Why alone? Why no companion?" Hmm... yeahor... If someone who are willing to accompany me and bare with my boringness, why not~ 

As much as I like intimacy with others, I like being alone too... I wonder, can someone be both? Which one of me is the main Me? hmm....~ Having identity confusion? Don't know which role to commit to? God knows~ LOL 

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People who have impacted my life:

1999 - BD who have been through a lot with me, encouraging and slapping me all these years.

2003 - RagnarokOnline schoolmates who taught me that what friendship and comradeship is.

2003 - What does sacrificing really mean...

2004 - MT and XW who taught me how to be a good brother and even the strongest relationship can turn bad...

2005 - Triple Y who taught me to open up my social circle

2006 - Foundation mate, friends can be found in a group

2007 - MK who taught me I can be myself

2007 - PL who taught me to truly open up and to be trusted! 

xxxx - to be experienced~~~ LALALALA~~~ 

aha......

Feelings and emotions are contagious, believe it or not! Gosh... 

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Changed of personality when I am doing the personality test after 1 week??? =="" 

Doubt vs faith

We do not have to be perfect to do His work! We can have doubt and faith at the same time when doing His work! 

"When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted." Matthew 28:17

In ministry field, this passage really gave me a very big impact and vision! Yes, we can serve with doubt and faith! Having doubt is not a big deal, as long as we hang on to our faith, He will guide us in doing His work! 

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In unbeliever context, we always have doubt and faith in doing our daily chores too, especially in friendship/relationship. Even though we have doubt, we should not back ourselves out from the issue we are facing, no matter its relationship, friendship, family, uni issue etc etc... We should hang on to our faith and in the same time know more about our doubt! If we think that we should deal with our problem 1st before doing things, the question we should ask is, when will we finished dealing with it? If we are not doing anything because we have doubt, what will we achieve? 

Sometimes, we should try to do something without being perfect as failing will teach us much more than achieving. "Wait till I manage my emotion 1st then I will deal with the issue", "I want to wait till I am more sociable 1st before I start making with new friends"... All these thinking will actually hold us back and make us lose a lot of precious time. 

No doubt, sometimes we really should settle some issue before doing another, but often, when we look back, we deal with a certain issue even with doubt, or think that we are imperfect, but in the end the result is actually better than what we really expected! 

In conclusion, we shouldn't worry too much and do nothing. A lot of decision needs courage, unless we are willingly to make the 1st step to receive courage, we will never have it. Things will fall into place if we do our best of what we can do!