Human

I re-realized something today. Something bad that remind me of how I used to hate human being...

Human, who always only think of themselves
Human, who always think that only what they believe is truth and others who are odd are wrong
Human, who always want to win and look down at others
Human, who always easily influenced by others and still will step down on those who like them
Human, who always like to be superior
Human, who always wants attention
Human, who...

...

I wonder...

huh...?

Its enough... Its enough... At least I got comforted in my dream... At least someone would still lend me his/her shoulder for me to rest my head... Even if what I think will happen, happens... Its enough.... Maybe...

alone

No one cares, no one understand... some thought are meant to be... alone.....

untitled...

Wanted to be cared, to be loved. Everyone, most of us want this... We certainly care and love others, maybe the reason is because we want to be care and love the same way we did to others too...?

Everyone seems to have someone who they care and love and its returned~

I wonder...

Thought

"Its not enough... I have to do better..."

"Its not good enough... I need to do better..."

"Sigh..."

Do you have this kind of thought before? I guess it is a quite normal reaction to most of us. Well, of course, I, myself have this kind of thought and most of the time it will either burn my passion up or i will be "depressed" to the fullest until a certain point I have no motivation to continue it.

Well, after a session of counseling, this belief is challenged; "What is enough?" "How is enough?" "Can you see this... 'goal'?"

Hmm... Yea, I can't. All these while I am moving towards a goal which even myself do not know what is it. I know there is this 'goal' I need to achieve but no matter how many times I did it my best, I don't get satisfy. Merely because I am chasing something that is vague, blur and, it sounded like a goal with no goal?

Still looking for an answer, however, I do realize that being grateful of what we have achieve is as important as wanted to be better! Maybe, maybe through gratefully accept what we did, we will be able to get closer to this "enough" goal.

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Control, Power, the ability to manipulate others; These are very powerful and I assume, a lot of people are hungry of them. People feel superior and better when they have this. However, what I really don't understand is, by putting others down at your feet, is it really that... fun...?

Its human nature to feel superior, just like most of the animal in animal kingdom, the strongest one will win without caring about others welfare, but can we, human, at least control our own desire first without putting others down???

*Sigh...*

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Courage.

A word that is used daily but carries a powerful weight!

I remembered one of my closest friends told this to me "G, you really are a dreamer!" LOL, I don't know its a good word to describe someone or is it now. However, I believe this is what made me survive through what I've been through in my life.

Without dream, human will not survive. Literally, everyone dream when they sleep, whether or not they remember the dreams or not, we do dream!

Some people manage to live their dreams and some don't. What differentiate their dream? Is it too unreachable and the dreams are too vague to achieve? Is it unreasonable dream? Did that person really take action to live his/her dream?

Today I read one of the fanfic by my friend, and it triggered my long hibernate brain to function again!

Courage is what I am lacked of since young. In that fanfic, it mentioned that in order to live a dream, one must have both passion and courage. Lack of either one, ones will now live his/her dream as he/she like. At least this is my interpretation of that fic. What I wanted to say is, no matter in what kind of situation, I will try putting in more courage in what I do. Of course, courage should comes with wisdom, knowledge, and whether that certain action will benefit or make others misery...

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I will do my best in being couragous in what I will be doing in the future without caring too much what others opinion/criticism to me and in the same time will not ignored others welware! Being dreadful honest is what I need to improve and I understand life is the other way round. Even so, will not stop trying!

Disclaimer: A post to remind what is my thought at the moment.