Just kill me...

AISHH! I wonder what month/year is this, problems come one after another, without fail. Gosh, starting to get super emo bout not able to help others and i eventually made things worse. Thanks Gorgan...

=.="""" AAIIISHHHH! Someone just kill me...

Untitle

*Scream* Finally finished my lit review. Although there are more things waiting for me to finish, but I felt that as if I'm in holiday today.

I am not sure how to address today, I mean, the whole day, what is in my mind is relationship (friendship). One word to sum up todays feeling, very sentimental and emo. Everything gotta do with emotion.

Just now went to church to have a gathering with a few church friends. We touched about the relationship in our church, we touched about the "forbidden" question and opinion in our church and I kinda enjoy the session. Which allowed me to speak out my feeling that burning in my heart for few months. In that moment, I thought "Oh, I think this is the turning point of our church, is it Lord?" In the same time, a lot of thought ran through me, church's friends, college friends and few of my high school friends. Will I be able to appreciate them for a long time? Will I, so happen return to the Lord the next day when I open my eyes? I don't know. --Those with the "remote control" kinda know what I am going to do right? LOL--

Yea, I just want to say, sorry to you guys, college friends, the Psycho Squad, church friends, I know I did do a lot of mistakes and yet, you guys willing to forgive and continue to hang out with me. Willing to walk with me and that, I really appreciate... Thank you a lot... ^^ You know who you are~ Thanks a lot guys and girls~

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Dear Lord,
There are times of difficulties that I faced when I am growing in person, there are difficulties I am facing now, but Lord, I might not see what You want now, but I am sure that all these difficulties have Your purpose in it. It is something for me to grow better. That is what I believe dear God. Thank you for the difficulties and the friends You put in my life. Lord, I am ready, for almost 2 years of struggling, I am ready to be fully used by You. Use me o Lord...
Amen

(Haih, another sentimental post from me *look left look right*)

Mistakes

Mistakes, I don't think this is a very rare word in our daily life. I noticed that I did a lot of mistakes in the past years as I usually do not use my brain to THINK! Yea, don't ask me what I use to think, I just do not use enough cognitive processes in making decision and completing my duty.

gosh, dealing with your own mistakes sure is difficult as it is hard to put our pride down and accept it, especially when you are a male which makes things worse. Well, I am making assumption that females do better in putting our "face" down to accept mistakes we did, of course, there are some exception cases.

So peeps, in order to learn, accept our mistakes and face it so that we will not repeat it again! Also a reminder to myself, STAY AWAKE!! LOL

What a day!

6/5P Gathering! Wow, its like after 8 years since we all meet each others and yet, here we are, sitting in Station 1 and chat like we have keep contact with each others! Well, of course there are sub group la hey, its something... beautiful if u ask me~ People might say that human are weird, complex and hard to be understood, but to me, I do think that human aren't that bad, interesting if you ask me.

Well, though there are still some ice between us, but i think its melting after an hour of the gathering bah~ Hope to see them again the next time! Everyone seems to be the same 8 years ago~~

Btw, I did went to Sunway with Ling and her bro~ Kinda got disappointed la, no skating no Shogun.. haih... Neway, do appreciate the time with them~~ To Weng Yew, all the best in adapting new environment and all the best!!

I hope this is not too late! HAHA
On the 15th March, I went out with my long lost HMC friends~! LOL, exaggerating! Well, who are they? Michelle(mamiii), Gideon(daddii), Manda(kai ma), PuiLing(meiiii), Kimberly(kai ma2). (Sry guys, can't go to ts with you guys! haha).

Gosh, its been awhile since we really hang out together and chat and eat! Sure missed those old days. Yea, we ate at sushu zanmai~ shops for shoes, bags and sunglasses~ HOHOHO~ everyone there seems like there is something to buy, too bad I don't! haha. It was great though~

It was a different type of fun and crazy with them, compare to the PSYCHO SQUAD which is SUPER crazy! hahaha!

Really happy with you guys~~ HMC and PSYCHO SQUAD! LOL!!! (as if I am in two different military unit~ haha)

Friends night

City Harvest Church
Last night I went to City Harvest Church with college's friends. Wow, the feeling is totally different! For some reason, I do have a cultural shock when I arrived at the entrance of the church. GORGAN SHOCKED! Haha. It has 80% of college students who are the member of CHC. I wasn't really sure whether or not I am in a church or a clubbing place or a concert! Everyone was so YOUNG! Even the pastor himself. Well, I don't know much about this church but however, after awhile, feeling of church came back to me. Maybe I have adapted the facts that, that is a church after all~ Saw Danny there though, he sang two of his songs.

It really was a good experience. Though I do know there are churches like this, but never experience it, this time, thanks to Sarah, I really did experienced something different from my church. Without a doubt, I do like the environment there, though its kinda loud and crowded, everyone was young~ Somewhere where I should be, my age. Still, to my church members, I won't be going there since its really not my cup of tea~ haha

After the gathering, we (Karmun, Mika, Sarah) had some nice chit chat session at the mamak and in my house. Nice day~

PS: Life just aren't the same with college friends~ hohoho The Psych squad~? Haha!

Home visiting

HAPPY CHINESE YEW YEAR!!!
HAHA, I think i have to take back what i posted in my last post, this is not the worst CNY, it is the best CNY in my 20 years time~~ HAHA!!
Well, the home visiting is fun and crazy at the same time~ haha
(Actresses of today- Ling, Mika, Sarah, Karmun, Jasmine)
1130pm
We reached Kajang's KTM station and went to Jasmine house. Thats how our journey begun~ =P We have 6 people in a new white Myvi~ It is not weird actually, just mentioning it~ Hehe, Then at her house, starting to switch on my "vacuum" to suck in all the food, warming up if that is what u wanna call it. The food there was nice but... we watched "resident evil 4" there.... ==""" *gulp* Neway, Jasmine parents was good to us~ (Thanks aunty thanks uncle~) Chat chat chat, chit chit chit~ then off we go to our second destiny~~
Around 1 something in the afternoon bah...
We reached Jusco, Serdang and ate at a, chinese restaurant bah. Quite filling and satisfying.
Around 330pm
Reach Mun jie's place~ Food~~~ This is where my "vacuum" activated fully and begining to suck in all the food mun jie's friendly mom served us while Ling is "dating" with chiko~ HAHA. Food~~~ The paradise house of FOOD~~~ Tiramisu is delicious!! Thx mun jie for sharing with us~~ *hug hug* Here is where they (Mika, Ling, Jas, and Sarah) say things like I am the mother in a family while karmun is the dad in the family and them, are the daughters we have.!! SWT!!!
5pm
Reached Ling place by karmun's car. Gosh Gosh Gosh!!! I finally found back the CNY feel when I ate the bagua!!!! WUUU!!! NICE!!!! *felt into the paradise of food again* Ling's mom even cooked us an early dinner! Thx a lot~~ Btw, i like the rice~~ I mean, we lurve the rice~~ it was nice~~ HOHOHO~
6pm
We've finally reached the last destination of our journey which is my own house. Haih, nothing much to serve them and nothing much to entertain them tim... daijoubu daijoubu~ Hehe. My relatives are like (wuu? thorn amongs the roses) and all sort of ideas coming out from their brain~ LOL!!! What to do? I am special~~ LALALALA~~
Guess what, we are the nosiest wherever we went~~ COOL~ This is us~~ Feel good by just joining you guys~~ Haha~ Next stop, Mika house!!

Chinese New Year

*tada* After the long long period of abandon my Blog, finally I am back~~ Haha
So, what I did during CNY? Yea, I know it is not over yet, but, I would like to share what I did in the past few days. So, (so many "so".. ==") what did I do? First of all, eat~ visit~ tv~ sms~ and musics!! This is what we normally do when it comes to Chinese New Year right? However, I would say this is the worst Chinese New Year I have had in my 20 years' life!! Why? I will tell you why:

• The food is not satisfying AT ALL
• I am SICK, heck yea... sick...
• Food isn't enough! No chips, no "rou gan", no keropok, no love letters, no muruku... HEY, is this still CNY???
• Only visited few of my relatives this year, not as merry as previous years
• Television, this is the worst, I can't believe that i missed DBSK concert and DBSK mini drama!!! Eeeeeekk!!! *head banging the wall*
• My grandma, gosh, talking bout her makes me want to cry *tears coming out*
• She is very old, 90+ and she seems unable to move freely, talk and eat...
  
• Unable to recognize us sometimes, even if she can, she can't talk just stare at us...
  
• When we are going back, when we told her that we are about to go back to KL, she cried, but... nothing comes out from her mouth. No expression, just tears... Even she have difficulties in walking, she insisted to stand up, and... stand(sit) outside, watch us leave the house... *thinking back the times when she is still healthy and how she cares for us...*

There you go, not much a CNY huh? So much to learn, so much to experience but so little time and so limited we are in this world. We are unlikely to really appreciate those who really cares for us. Not until they leave us, only by then, we regretted, only by then, we hope we can change our attitude. It might seems too late by then. Well guys, appreciate whoever is caring for you and lets put down our pride and self to care and love them too! *looking at my friends* Thanks for being my friends and I love you guys~~ *hugs hugs*

Anyway, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR guys~~ ^^ O ya, happy valentine to those couples and to single like me, enjoy the days of being alone for we won't be able to enjoy single life forever~~!! cheer~~

Thanks

Its 1234 in the morning of the last day of 2007. Yea, its 1234... So many things had happen in 2007; ups, downs, happy, sad, disappointed, satisfaction, anger, all sorts of emotions, feelings, you name it. However, I do, of course, learn a lot during this year. Dreams, to be achieved; Goals, to be met; Vision, to be seen; Mission, to be accomplished. All these, is one step closer after today, the last day of 2007!

Friends come and go through out this year. Which makes my life more miserable. Conflict arise and some i chose not to deal with it. Money and time management is the worst this year, I've been using them like a flow of waterfall, without any control. Gave stupid advices to my dearest friends. Gave stupid responses to my dearest friends. All these, brought me from heaven to hell. From Light to the Dark.

However, there were times that brought me back to the Light, Heaven. For those who made my day, I would want to thank you guys here. I can't seems to thank you guys in person for I am still as cowardly as I used to be. XD

Thanks God, for You guided me, led me to the path You want me to be.
Thanks my family members, for a place for me to be myself. To express myself.
Thanks PuiLing, for being my most faithful listener, comforter and being my sister.
Thanks Michelle, for being my sister who cares for me
Thanks Yingzhi, for being my sister who always give support and love with care when I needed it most.
Thanks YenYee, for trying to understand me; being my best friends; accompany me when i am lonely; and being my mirror to reflect my own wrongs
Thanks YeeWern, for being a true friend that always cover my back; give comforts, who let me felt that i am being protected.
Thanks Philip, who always give advices that suitable for the situation I'm in.
Thanks Jin, who always talk to me and comfort me when needed.
Thanks Manda, who always care and love me like my own mother and protects me.
Thanks KitMun, for being a friend that willing to share problems with me.
Thanks YaShin, for reminding me and helping me to be more matured even you didn't notice it.
Thanks Karmun, for making me a stronger boy.
Thanks Sarah, who sometimes inspired me for doing things.
Thanks Mika, for making me more than who I used to be.
Thanks Mian, for suddenly coming into my life and wake me up from a long sleep.
Thanks Ylong, for letting me know that friends are always there when I needed one.
Thanks SyiHuey, who boast my confident and esteem when i really needed it.
Thanks PuiSee, who treated me with honest heart.

Thanks my friends, for making me who I am today. I really do appreciate the times with you guys. Though I am quiet, emo at times, but truely, I am really happy with you guys in my life. Once in a year, I really wanted to thanks you guys here. ^^ Honto-ni doumo arigatou gozaimasu, mina-san!!!

E3 Camp

Went to camp on the 2nd of Nov. It is a camp organized by Peer Support Group(PSG) club. Basically it is a camp that train and guide us to be a better peer supporter, organizer and facilitator.

We played games, attend talks, workshop and know new friends! This camp also built the bond between us, whether we already knew each others or not.

Now, to the main point of my blog; What i have really learn?

Take away the organizing, facilitation and peer supporter skills, I have learn that I am really not alone! During this 3days 2nights camp, a lot of things flash through my mind. My own personality, my friends, my close friends, the ones that I care, and my church. You might ask, what does all these gotta do with my E3 Camp? I tell you what, I really have no ideas! These things just flash up in my mind when I observed them(those that attended the camp and other 3 of my closer friends).

Not going into detail, hehe, but I just want to say, Thanks guys for supporting and letting me know that this road, I have you guys! In some way, you had helped me to grow. Thanks, PL, J, KM and Alex~

(A bit weird~ haha I guess i am not used to expressing my feeling~ haha Thanks guys and girls~ =P)